Style After Survival: Why I Started Sole_Stys™

I didn’t start Sole_Stys™ to follow trends. I started it because I needed a way to exist in this world without shrinking.

Growing up, I was bullied and teased, made to feel like my presence had to be small to stay safe, even though I was well known inside and outside my community. I wasn’t loud or flashy. I was shy, observant, and always protecting my peace, sometimes to the point of being timid. I didn't know how to handle confrontation, so I avoided it.

Somewhere along the way, I discovered that if I dressed well, people might focus on the clothes instead of the parts of me I didn’t feel safe revealing. At first, style was a shield. It helped me control how I was seen.

But I didn’t just want better clothes.

I wanted to feel seen. And I couldn’t find anyone who knew how to style that.

Even then, I never wanted to look like everyone else. I had an eye for difference. I played with colors most people avoided. I paid attention to trends but refused to be defined by them. I didn’t dress to impress.

I dressed to feel like myself.

And I always started with the shoes.

That’s been my ritual for as long as I can remember. The sneakers set the tone for me, the vibe, the energy, the message. From there, everything else followed. That process became more than personal style. It became personal healing. It grounded me. It gave me rhythm. It gave me power. What started as camouflage slowly became confidence. What started as survival turned into self-expression.

And that evolution laid the foundation for Sole_Stys™.

This brand isn’t just about putting together a clean fit. It’s about reclaiming space, especially for Black men who have been overlooked, misread, or forced to shrink themselves to fit someone else’s mold. I know what it feels like to be invisible. I also know what it feels like to be seen and still misinterpreted. That’s why Sole_Stys™ exists, to change that narrative from the ground up.

When I went searching for stylists who looked like me, who understood the emotional and cultural weight behind how we show up, I came up short. There weren’t many of us, if any. Instead, I kept landing on sites like Stitch Fix, Stately, and Threadbeast, all platforms that claim to offer personalized style but continuously push clothes that don’t reflect how Black men actually dress. The options felt flat, blazers that didn’t speak, color palettes that lacked flavor, and silhouettes that missed the mark, clothes that had no personality or pop. It was style with no cultural texture.

No voice. No soul.

That gap in the industry wasn’t just noticeable, it was personal, and frankly unbelievable. I wasn’t just frustrated by the lack of representation. I was disappointed that nothing felt built with us in mind.

But my wife saw something else. She’s always loved my style, the way I move, the way I pair things, the confidence that comes from knowing exactly who I am when I get dressed. She saw how much care I put into every look, how I start with the shoes and build the story up from there.

And one day, she said something that changed everything:“You know you’re already doing what you’re looking for, right? Maybe you’re not supposed to find the stylist… maybe you are the stylist.”

She wasn’t just affirming my taste.

She was naming my calling.

In a world where we’re often told to quiet down or fit in, she’s been the one pushing me to take up space, to lead, create, and walk boldly in what I carry. She believed in Sole_Stys™ before the name ever existed. And in many ways, she helped birth it by reminding me that my style wasn’t just personal, it was purposeful, intentional, and soulful.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t just looking for someone to style me. I was being called to become the stylist I needed, and to create what didn’t yet exist for the next man searching.

That’s how Sole_Stys™ was born.

This is Why I Started Sole_Stys™.

Because real style isn’t about being seen.

It’s about being understood.

And sometimes (especially to me), it starts with the right pair of shoes.

If you’ve ever felt unseen, misread, or unsure how to show up, this is your space.

Let Sole_Stys™ help you walk into your next chapter with intention.

Book your style session now.